Hammer up me some beer!

Who is the genius who came up with this invention? A hammer slash bottle opener. I was at Bauhaus the other day (the equivalent of Home Depot) and saw this tool.

I'm all for the 2-in-1 thing for efficiency (hey, it worked for the shampoo and conditioner industry), but construction and beer? Couldn't there be a potential problem here? Isn't this just a finger-slammin', pain-causing 'boo-boo' waiting happen?

Well, maybe they thought a few beers would help dull down the pain. In some bizarre way, that actually makes sense.

Would ya like some Hookah with that?

The other day I was at a hippie market, browsing around, minding my own business. When I came across this couple, smoking a hookah and playing Backgammon (a very popular game among the Turks - called 'tavla' in Turkish).

Aaah, tis da life, isn't it?

Carbaholics!

Turks must love carbs! In addition to the various breads and simits, another edible street phenomenon is the kumpir. It's basically a baked potato on acid. The baked potato is nothing new to our culture, but imagine ordering one on the street and eating it as you site see. Uhm, not so familiar...

When you order a kumpir, similar to ordering a sub sandwich, you select the ingredients you want to include inside this massive vegetable. You can load it with pickles, cabbage, radish, corn, peas, butter, cheese, carrots, sausage, mayo, ketchup, olives... you name it...

Last week, my parents and I ordered one... I tried to keep it healthy of course - stuck to carrots, cabbage, peas, etc... (no meat, no cheese).

Below is the product of our edible masterpiece:

Driving Under the Influence

Never drive while under the influence of this incredible city. With its spectacular views, your driving will certainly be impaired.

The last few days, I've been driving my parents around in the city. And lemme tell ya... NOTHING prepares you for Istanbul traffic. (Especially none of my years of Arizona driving).

I've decided there are 5 things you need to know (at least what I think you should know) in order to avoid death-by-car in this city:

1. Red means go... well, let's just say that you should already have left the intersection when the light has turned green.

2. Pedestrians *do not* have right of way. People should avoid you, not the other way around. If you slow down for these yayas (Turkish for pedestrian), you're bound to get honked at or perhaps even rear-ended.

3. Speed limits don't exist. Well, technically they do exist. But no one follows them. If a fast car approaches you from behind, it's best that you get out of their way.

4. Honking is the language of the road. Different honks (long, short, etc) mean different things. There's the "get out of my way (politely)" honk and the "get the f**k out of the way (not so politely) honk. Of course, the "Watch out, I'm in your blind spot" honk; the "Are you looking for a taxi?" honk... the "light's green-go you idiot tourist" honk; the "I'm trying to get your attention" honk... you name it, there's a honk for it.

5. Right of way rule - if a vehicle is bigger than you and can do more damage to your car in the event that you hit each other, then it has the right of way. Period. (So basically, the only power our rented sh**ty Ford has, at this point, is over squat tiny motorcycles).

Interesting vehicle observation: the driver's side rear-view mirror is a wide-angle lens, similar to the passenger side mirror. Everything is distorted and "objects may seem closer than they appear" - I wonder why this is. Although it's awkward for eyes to adjust from the rear-view mirror to the side mirror, it does eliminate that awful blind spot thing...